72 degrees on a beautiful Wednesday morning. Sitting at a local breakfast place and overwhelmed at God's faithfulness. We have just went through one of the craziest transitions for our family. Literally, walking by faith and just listening to God's direction. Our pastors always say that God speaks to you similar to how your headlights work at night. You can't see the whole road in front of you. The light doesn't go all the way to the next block, but it does go a few feet in front of you, and as you move the light moves. You can see directly what's in front of you, but nothing further. That is definitely how God has been working in our lives! Some of you know our story of the last 6 months, some of you know the short version, some of you just know we're back in West Palm Beach, but I wanted to really speak to how faithful God has been to us. Although it has been so scary and uncomfortable at times to follow God's leading, it has been such an amazing thing to see God's hand on our lives through this time.
December 31st was the end of our lease in St. Louis, Missouri. We loved St. Louis! We lived in the county, a little outside the city for our first year there, but once our lease was up, we wanted to move closer to the city. We've also moved A LOT in the last 6 years and I was ready to feel a little more settled. I wanted to rent a house for a year or two until we were able to buy our own home in St. Louis. I started looking for houses in November, just before Thanksgiving. 6 weeks would be plenty of time to find a place, or at least that's what I thought! Every time I thought we found the place for us, the door would slam in our face. Time after time the door was shut in our face for one reason or another. At this point December 31st had already come and while everyone was ringing in the new year, we were moving out of our town home into a bachelor pad's basement.
I remember waking up that morning on December 31st. I didn't want to get out of bed. I had so much faith in God that He was going to get us a place before that day came. We had worked so hard trying to find a new place. I knew every post on Trulia, Zillow and Craigslist. I could show you the disgusting houses that we had already seen, I could show you the scam listings on Craigslist. It was my job to find us a home, and I couldn't. But it was more frustrating to understand why God didn't open the door. They say a gentleman always opens a door, but the side I was seeing was just a "slamming the door shut" kind of God. The Bible says in Matthew 9:29 "According to your faith, be it done to you." I just couldn't understand if my faith could believe that He could find a place for us, why didn't it happen?!?!
It was during the stay at the "bachelor pad" that we got a phone call from our pastors. Asking us if we had ever thought of moving back to West Palm and if we would pray about the decision. Pierre clearly heard God telling us to move back. I remember Pierre saying "Here's your open door!" and I had tears streaming down my face, because we had prayed for so many open doors, and now the one that was open wasn't the one I wanted.
We had jumped in head first in St. Louis. As a wife of someone on staff, I didn't sit at home for a year with our son to see if Pierre's job was going to "work out". We knew God had called us there and we knew we were exactly where we were supposed to be. We made amazing friends, loved the people of all 3 campuses in St. Louis and Jordan had friends and lots of babysitters that loved him. And now God was telling us to leave everything that had finally become comfortable, again, and move across the country, again.
I don't know why God didn't tell us earlier. It would've been so much easier to give us a heads up at least! We could've put more stuff in our suitcase than just the 2 weeks of clothes we had, that ended up lasting us 3 1/2 months. I would've loved to have pulled out some summer clothes, rather than move to Florida with all winter sweaters and coats. But I also know that experiencing Him closing all those doors, gave me more peace and understanding knowing that Florida was what He was calling us to. The desire I had to not move any more, to be more stable, was challenged with moving 4 times in 4 months. Even after all of that though, God has given us such grace and peace through it all. Jordan has been so well behaved through every move, an 18 hour drive that got ruined by me getting the stomach flu, and through sleeping in a play pen for 4 months. God has made every place we've stayed so wonderful. I even missed the "bachelor pad" a little after we left.
Last night we had our first dinner in our new home. A beautiful townhouse. I am so overwhelmed that God has carried us through this journey. It hasn't been easy, and there were times we really questioned what the heck we were doing, and I'm sure everyone has experienced that feeling at some point. Where you want to look up at God and say "Where in the world are we going?!" "Do you know what you're doing up there?!" "Is there a point to any of this?!" Yes. Yes. Yes. He does. To all of those questions I yelled at God, and had to ask for forgiveness because my attitude was out of control. But now feeling the peace I feel in West Palm Beach, I know it was all for a reason. I just had to trust that He knew what He was doing.
So I just want to encourage anyone who doesn't know what's going on with their life. Who's questioning why doors are closing in their face. Doors that they REALLY wanted to open and had prayed for and cried for, yet they still closed. God always has a bigger plan, but just like the headlights, He can't show us the whole thing. He shows us step by step. West Palm Beach is home again, and we're excited about it. Excited for the campus that Faith Church has down here. Excited for the friends that are here and family that we have close again. But a part of our hearts are always in St. Louis and we miss the people there so much! We're excited to see all what God has for us here in Florida. So here's to new beginnings, again.