I wanted to write something for Mothers Day. It's been a little bit since I've written something on here, mostly because I just don't want this to be an overload of mundane things that go on in our life. Even though, there's been a lot going on here! I want to post when I have something important to say. And to be honest, it wasn't what I said but more about what was said to me that made me change my view this year for Mothers Day.
Two weeks ago, me and Pierre were in the kitchen talking about schedules and work, and planning babysitters and date night and all that good stuff, when he said to me "Hey, you're living the life!" And I just chuckled, "ha! Yea right!" He said, "think about it, you are home with Jordan during the week, you do weddings, which is your passion, on the weekends and you're singing on the worship team once a week at a church you love. Sounds like the life to me!" Once he said it, I realized he was right. But, why doesn't it feel like it? Why dont these days of having a toddler and being able to stay home with him feel like the wonderful memory they'll turn into?
I know someday I'll look back at us at this point, and miss the days of baby Jordan. The days of us just starting our family. Our journey with Faith Church just beginning, while living in St. Louis, Missouri away from what we know most of as a couple, which was South Florida. I'll remember us sharing our car, being clever with food to get us through, or the season of never watching movies because we would both fall asleep from just being too tired.
I told Pierre that i guess I didn't realize I was "living the life" because I just barely got the baby sitter for Friday, because I have a wedding, and he'll be in Florida and on and on it goes. Just barely making the schedule work, the bills getting paid, doctors appointments, milk allergies, and antibiotics with Jordan. Sometimes just making the day to day stuff happen feels like I'm just staying above water.
Ever since becoming a mother, I have had this urge to just high-five random women I see in public with kids. Just to tell them "Good job!" "You're doing it!" And especially moms with multiple kids! Sometimes I think they have secrets about parenthood that I haven't learned yet. I look at them with their 2 or 3 kids and just shake my head in disbelief. How do they do it? I just said my one year old makes me feel like I'm just staying above water! I'm sure putting another newborn in my lap would sink me for sure!
The crazy thing is....there are plenty of moms who have a one year old and a newborn in their lap! And they're doing it! They're making it happen!
Pierre had to remind me to give myself a break. And he's right. Why is it so easy for me to cheer on other mothers that I see out in public? Women, who I have no idea how they parent, no idea how they keep their house or treat their husband, but I want to congratulate them on being a successful mother. Yet, I can barely give myself credit for "just staying above water". Why is it so hard for us to pat ourselves on the back, but so easy to cheer someone else on? I don't even know what meltdown she had earlier today or how she lost her cool with her kids the day before. And she won't know my failures. I'd be too embarrassed to tell her, just like she'd be too embarrassed to tell me.
At the end of the day, we're all "doing it". Doing our best to raise amazing human beings. Doing our best to love and nurture them, even discipline them so the rest of the world can enjoy them rather than run from terror toddlers on a rampage. And yes, those terror toddlers will have their full on meltdowns in Walmart or a Resteraunt and you'll be completely embarrassed and want to freak out or just frantically apologize to everyone around you as you run out the door. But every mother has had that feeling. They know the embarrassment, the frustration, the feelings of questioning if you're good enough. Wondering at night if you're doing the right thing, is this the right choice to do this, do I need to switch this or that?
Motherhood is tough and it's the hardest job. But when you see their little smiles at you, or when they tell you they love you in their own way, you know nothing is better. When you tuck them in at night and their sleeping peacefully and you know you've made it through another day, you know they're worth every moment of feeling like you're going to lose your mind!
So next time you see a mom, give her a high five! Tell her she's doing it and she's rocking those 4 kids in the grocery store! Women who's kids are grown, tell that mom who's exhausted with her newborn, that it gets better! Or that her hair and outfit look great, which is a huge accomplishment for a mom with a newborn!
And moms who are in the middle of it, cherish it! It's easier said than done, but soak in every sweet moment (not the tantrum moments). And know that you're doing your very best and that someone else is thinking that you're doing an amazing job!
And here's a high five!!!
You're doing it! Happy Mothers Day!!